有什么特權(quán)是絕大多數(shù)人擁有卻意識(shí)不到的？

What is something most people don’t realize is a privilege?

2021-06-28 Kira_Yoshikage 18301 23 0 收藏糾錯(cuò)&舉報(bào)

譯文簡(jiǎn)介

失去了才懂得珍惜。

正文翻譯

What is something most people don’t realize is a privilege?

有什么特權(quán)是絕大多數(shù)人擁有卻意識(shí)不到的？

評(píng)論翻譯

InternationalGas2021
To have people around who can and will help

身邊有可以并且愿意向你提供幫助的人

sezah
This has impacted me in so many ways. I didn’t qualify for enough in student loans/government assistance because it was just assumed my parents were giving me hundreds a month in assistance, so that imaginary amount was deducted from my benefits.

這在很多方面都對(duì)我造成了深遠(yuǎn)的影響。我在學(xué)生貸款/政府援助項(xiàng)目上沒(méi)能通過(guò)審批，因?yàn)樗麄冋J(rèn)為我的家人每個(gè)月會(huì)給我好幾百美元，所以這份不存在的錢(qián)就被從我的補(bǔ)助中砍掉了。

TheOneKMC
IM NOT ALONE! This has hurt me soooo much, I literally got kicked out at 18 and live on my own. But because my Dad earns 170k/yr I missed most aid. Apparently he is expected to give me 20k/yr. Well fuck.

我不是一個(gè)人！這讓我太——難過(guò)了，我真的是在18歲那年就被踢出去自己求生了。但是因?yàn)槲腋赣H每年掙17萬(wàn)，絕大多數(shù)的補(bǔ)助我都選不上。顯然他本來(lái)應(yīng)該每年給我兩萬(wàn)。他媽的。
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mycologyqueen
Why is no one explaining this to you guys that you CAN and should have gotten it??? I feel like school financial counselors are doing a piss poor job overall.

為什呢沒(méi)有人跟你們解釋過(guò)，你們可以并且就應(yīng)該得到援助？我感覺(jué)學(xué)校的財(cái)政顧問(wèn)真的是占著茅坑不拉屎。

NeonHairbrush
This. At the worst point in my life, when I was trying to leave a toxic job but was going to lose my housing because of it, my brother stepped up and let me live at his place while I looked for work. A few years earlier, he'd spent his last few Euros to show up at my door with broken glasses and no money for food or transportation back home, and I took care of him for a few weeks and sent him back with some cash to tide him over, and new glasses. Now, he and I are both doing well for ourselves, but I'd never have gotten out of the hole without him.

沒(méi)錯(cuò)。在我生命中最糟糕的時(shí)候，我想要退出一份糟糕的工作但是會(huì)因此失去我的住房的時(shí)候，我的兄弟站了出來(lái)，在我找下一份工作的時(shí)候讓我住在他的家里。幾年之前，他花光了自己最后的幾塊錢(qián)，戴著碎了的眼鏡，沒(méi)有吃飯的錢(qián)也沒(méi)有坐車(chē)回家的錢(qián)，出現(xiàn)在了我的家門(mén)口。我照顧了他幾周，給了他一點(diǎn)現(xiàn)金接濟(jì)他，還給他配了一副新眼鏡?，F(xiàn)在，我和他都過(guò)得非常好，但我要是沒(méi)有他的話永遠(yuǎn)都不可能走出那個(gè)工作。

Now a friend is going through something similar - reduced hours at work due to the pandemic, no family support because they just came out as non-binary, can't afford rent and their debit card declined on two days worth of groceries - and I felt so good about being able to send them enough money to live on for a month, without it really affecting my quality of life. They also know they can show up at my door and live in my spare room and my boss will give them a job, if they end up deciding to move to my city.

現(xiàn)在我有個(gè)朋友也正在經(jīng)歷類(lèi)似的事情——因?yàn)橐咔楣ぷ鲿r(shí)長(zhǎng)變少了，因?yàn)槭切陨贁?shù)所以沒(méi)有家人的支持，支付不起房租并且銀行卡只能買(mǎi)得起兩天的菜——我很高興自己能夠給他們足夠的錢(qián)讓他們過(guò)一個(gè)月的生活，而不至于影響我自己的生活質(zhì)量。他們也知道假如他們決定來(lái)我住的城市生活的話，他們隨時(shí)都可以敲我家的門(mén)，住在我家空余的房間里，并且我的上司也會(huì)給他們一份工作的。

TonyMoyArts
You are a good one Charlie Brown....I had a friend like that. I was down in the dumps, Girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend/room mate at the time, contract didn't get renewed on a job, scraping together about $50 a month for groceries and such after paying my bills. He "found" some gift cards to help me out, and let me crash on his couch when I needed to. Helped me through a really tough period.

你真是個(gè)查理布朗一樣的好人……我也有個(gè)類(lèi)似的朋友。當(dāng)時(shí)我陷入了人生的低谷，我女朋友出軌和我最好的朋友/當(dāng)時(shí)的室友好上了，工作合同沒(méi)續(xù)約，付完賬單之后到處拼湊出50美元來(lái)買(mǎi)一個(gè)月的菜。我的朋友“找到”了幾張超市禮品卡幫我的忙，并且讓我需要的時(shí)候在他家的沙發(fā)住。幫我度過(guò)了一段非常艱難的時(shí)期。

A handful of years later, he was laid off from a dying industry and my company was starting to take off. I hired him and retrained him as a PM in the tech industry. But we've lost track of how many times we've come through for the other during tough times. Not that what we do what we do to look for repayment, but life has a way sometimes of keeping the karma flowing.

過(guò)了幾年，他被一個(gè)即將衰敗的行業(yè)辭退了，而我的公司正在起步。我雇傭了他，并且把他重新培訓(xùn)成了一名科技行業(yè)的產(chǎn)品經(jīng)理。我們已經(jīng)記不清在彼此陷入艱難困頓的時(shí)候我們互相幫助過(guò)多少次了。我們這么做并不是為了要求回報(bào)，而是生活自己就會(huì)讓因果循環(huán)不斷地流動(dòng)。

again.... you're one of the good ones.

但仍然，你是好人。

NeonHairbrush
I've watched this friend overcome alcoholism and depression, get treatment, deal with toxic family bullshit, and move to a new city with a lifestyle that suits them better. They just interviewed for and got offered a new job (where the interviewer recognized them from online content they've done) where they could be open about their identity at work. I'm not about to stand by and watch my friend lose all that progress over a rough patch during a pandemic.

我見(jiàn)證了我的這個(gè)朋友戰(zhàn)勝酒癮和抑郁，得到了治療，和家庭的各種爛事兒打交道，然后搬到了一個(gè)更適合他的生活方式的新城市。他剛接受過(guò)一份采訪，并且拿到了一份新工作（采訪者稱(chēng)贊了他做的互聯(lián)網(wǎng)內(nèi)容），在那里他可以自由地公開(kāi)自己的取向。我不會(huì)在疫情期間站在一旁看著我的朋友因?yàn)橐欢螐澛肪褪ニ械某删偷摹?/b>

Informal_Side
Running water 24/7 and most of 365 days.

一年365天每天24小時(shí)都有的自來(lái)水。

Stable electricity - the kind that doesn't shoot lightbulbs out of their sockets.

穩(wěn)定的供電——不是那種會(huì)把電燈泡從槽里崩出來(lái)的供電。

Sane traffic patterns.

符合常識(shí)的交通。
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Mostly clean fresh air.

基本上干凈的新鮮空氣。

Stocked shelves in the supermarket.

超市里塞得滿滿的貨架

Sharp_Commission128
Been to Nigeria and Sierra Leone and it lacks all of this.

我去過(guò)尼日利亞和塞拉利昂，那里缺少這一切。

Has water, isnt always running.

有水，但并不是一直有水。

Had electric that cuts out often.

有電，但經(jīng)常會(huì)斷。

Traffic is nightmarish and no one fears death

交通就是噩夢(mèng)，根本沒(méi)人怕死

Air smells like well turds

空氣聞起來(lái)像屎

Supermarkets are hit and miss.

逛超市像打地鼠

Amazing shwarma and KFC though

但沙威瑪和肯德基倒是賊好吃

mjaugust1
Sane traffic patterns.

符合常識(shí)的交通
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

So true. When I visited Istanbul and Bangkok, I realized very quickly that driving lanes are optional. It’s like, you can drive here, but you don’t have to do so.

太真實(shí)了。我去伊斯坦布爾和曼谷的時(shí)候，我很快就發(fā)現(xiàn)那里的車(chē)道是可選項(xiàng)。就像，你可以按照車(chē)道開(kāi)車(chē)，但你不一定要這么做。

IllegallyBored
This is making me laugh so bad, because I went to Bangkok a couple of years ago and my sister and I couldn't believe how well disciplined the traffic was! 2e actually took photos of cars stopping a decent distance away from each other because we were so happy to see it. We're from India. Traffic rules are very different here.

這讓我笑的太厲害了，因?yàn)槲規(guī)啄昵昂兔妹靡黄鹑チ寺?，?dāng)時(shí)我都無(wú)法相信那里的交通有多守紀(jì)律！我們甚至拍了兩輛車(chē)禮貌地彼此讓開(kāi)一大段距離的照片，因?yàn)槲覀円?jiàn)到這種景象真的是太開(kāi)心了。我們來(lái)自印度。這里的交通規(guī)則非常不一樣。

Beloay
Being able to just quit a job you don’t like

有能力退出一份你不喜歡的工作。

Elliot_Phantomhive5
Having two good parents

有一對(duì)好父母

what_the_a
Adding to that -- a stable and safe home life. Now that I'm an adult, I realized how lucky I was to have parents who were good and loving but also prioritized a safe, stable, calm home environment. They actually thought about creating a warm safe environment, and I didn't know that was a thing you had to consciously do until I got to adulthood. They never fought in front of us, rarely lost their tempers with us, stuck to a routine and structure to where there were always hot meals, clean clothes, a clean home -- and they let us have our own space to just relax and decompress. I noticed in my teen years that certain friends always wanted to come to my house to hang out which I thought was weird because my house was kinda boring -- but now looking back I can see that they liked the safe calm atmosphere at my house and wanted to some come relax. My parents consciously chose to make our home a safe retreat from the world and I'm so grateful.

補(bǔ)充一點(diǎn)——一個(gè)穩(wěn)定，安全的家庭生活。在我成年之后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己有一對(duì)關(guān)愛(ài)自己的好父母，以及一份安全，穩(wěn)定，令人舒服的家庭環(huán)境有多么幸運(yùn)。他們會(huì)認(rèn)真思考如何創(chuàng)造一個(gè)溫暖安全的環(huán)境，而我知道成年之后才意識(shí)到這種事情是需要你有意識(shí)地去做的。他們從來(lái)沒(méi)有當(dāng)我們的面吵過(guò)架，很少在我們的面前發(fā)脾氣，保持規(guī)律的生活，保證我們永遠(yuǎn)有熱乎的飯吃，有干凈的衣服穿，有干凈的家庭——他們還讓我們擁有自己的空間來(lái)放松、解壓。我在青少年時(shí)期發(fā)現(xiàn)有一些朋友經(jīng)常想要來(lái)到我的房間放松，我覺(jué)得挺怪的，因?yàn)槲壹彝o(wú)聊的——但現(xiàn)在回憶起來(lái)，我意識(shí)到他們是喜歡我家里安全、穩(wěn)定的環(huán)境，并且想要放松一點(diǎn)。我的父母有意識(shí)地選擇讓我們的家庭成為世界之外的一個(gè)安全的避風(fēng)港，對(duì)此我非常感激。
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I've met so many people over the years who never had the ability to relax at home (ranging from just really active schedules where they were shuffled from activity to activity and rest and relaxation wasn't prioritized, to people who had really turbulent abusive homes) and now as adults they have a really hard time relaxing or cultivating a recharging atmosphere at home. I literally had to lay out some steps for my friend of things you can do to make your home more comfortable and relaxing because they just... didn't know how to do it.

我在這幾年中遇到過(guò)太多完全沒(méi)有在家里放松的能力的人（有的是時(shí)間表實(shí)在太滿了，一項(xiàng)活動(dòng)到另一項(xiàng)活動(dòng)，休息和放松并沒(méi)有放在優(yōu)先位置，也有的是家里實(shí)在太動(dòng)蕩不安），他們成年之后很難在家里放松，或者在家里培養(yǎng)出一種能給自己力量的氛圍。我真的得給我的朋友們列出一些步驟來(lái)，好讓他們的家里更舒服、更放松，因?yàn)樗麄兙褪歉尽恢涝撛趺醋觥?/b>
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Wow, so many responses! I appreciate everyone chiming in and to those who said they wished for a home like mine, I'm sorry you didn't get it growing up. Although I think I was privileged to have my home life, I do think everyone deserves a stable and safe home. I hope you can find a way to give yourself everything you needed as a kid now as an adult.

哇，好多回帖！我感激每一個(gè)發(fā)帖的人，對(duì)那些提到他們也希望擁有我這樣的家庭的人，我很遺憾你們?cè)陂L(zhǎng)大的時(shí)候沒(méi)有這樣的家庭。盡管我認(rèn)為我的家庭生活是比較優(yōu)越的，但我也認(rèn)為每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該擁有一個(gè)穩(wěn)定、安全的家庭。我希望你們現(xiàn)在成年之后，可以找到一條能讓自己像個(gè)孩子一樣滿足的道路。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

Many people asked what the steps were I shared with my friend. I've made a list of those and a few other thoughts I had -- keep in mind, these were my tips about creating a nurturing environment for yourself at home. I'm not a parent, so I'm in no position to dole out parenting advice, but I have added a few things my parents did that when I look back I can see were highly beneficial.

很多人問(wèn)我和朋友分享的那些步驟是什么。我列了個(gè)清單，里面也加上了別的想法——記住，這是我的制造一個(gè)讓你自己在家里覺(jué)得舒服的環(huán)境的方法。我不是個(gè)家長(zhǎng)，所以我也沒(méi)有立場(chǎng)去給出育兒的建議，但我也加了一些父母做過(guò)的，現(xiàn)在我回憶起來(lái)覺(jué)得很有用的事情。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

Sorry, it's going to be long but I really wanted to share as much of my perspective as I could for those who didn't get to experienced this first hand. I'm sure there are a bunch of other things I'm forgetting, but these are kinda the big differences I saw between my house and others. Please feel free to send me a message if you have more questions.

很抱歉，可能會(huì)很長(zhǎng)，但我真的希望對(duì)那些沒(méi)能第一手經(jīng)歷過(guò)這些的人能分享多少就分享多少。我確定會(huì)有很多其他東西我想不起來(lái)，但這些是我在我自己的房間和別人的房間之間發(fā)現(xiàn)的最大的不同。假如你有其他問(wèn)題的話，請(qǐng)隨意發(fā)消息給我。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

This might be obvious but I was surprised to find wasn't for some people -- decorate your home with things you actually like! Don't worry about trends or what others think is cool. If Disney makes you feel happy, make your home a Disney paradise. You deserve to find your space happy and inspiring to you. If your home is full of things you like, you'll want to be there. Also, get yourself some cozy throw blankets and nice candles. Hang curtains, even if they're not expensive. The small creature comforts although not absolutely necessary for staying alive will make your environment feel nesty and cozy.

這個(gè)可能很顯然，但令我驚訝的是有一些人意識(shí)不到——用你真的喜歡的東西裝飾你的房間！別擔(dān)心潮流啊，其他人覺(jué)得酷不酷之類(lèi)的想法。假如迪士尼讓你覺(jué)得開(kāi)心，那就讓你的家變成一個(gè)迪士尼天堂。你理應(yīng)讓你的家看起來(lái)令你開(kāi)心、給你帶來(lái)啟迪。假如你的家里到處都是你喜歡的東西，你就會(huì)愿意在家里呆著。還有，給自己整點(diǎn)兒舒服的毯子和好的蠟燭。懸掛式的窗簾，不貴的也行。這些小的、生理性的舒適感盡管并不是存活下去所必須的，但卻能讓你的環(huán)境像家一樣舒適。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

Keep your home tidy and organized to the point that its comfy and functional, but not to the point that its another area of stress. Despite my awesome home life, my mom was extremely clean and I have ADHD and am just naturally a bit messier -- I struggled with guilt about it and beating myself up for not being able to keep up the way she did. Finally over the last few years I realized I was making things stressful for myself in my own home when I didn't need to at all. Keeping it clean and safe is important, but just do enough to make it feel cared for -- remember your home is there to serve you, not be a showroom.

讓你的家保持整潔、有序，足夠舒適并且不影響生活，但是不要干凈到成為你的另一種壓力來(lái)源。盡管我的家庭生活很棒，但我的媽媽是個(gè)非常愛(ài)干凈的人，而我有多動(dòng)癥，所以就很自然地會(huì)把東西弄得亂一點(diǎn)——我一直都很有罪惡感，并且因?yàn)椴荒茏屪约汉退粯诱麧嵍蛭易约?。最終在最近這幾年我在意識(shí)到，我在給我自己施加太大的壓力，我在自己的家里完全不需要這種想法。保持干凈衛(wèi)生重要，但只要做到感覺(jué)有人打理就足夠了——記住你的家是給你服務(wù)的，不是展廳。

Dim lights in the evenings, light candles, play peaceful music. Also great if you have kids -- my mom helped us wind down in the evenings by adjusting the atmosphere. She'd turn down a lot of the lights, start the dishwasher which kinda signified the end of the day, play some chill music, turned off TV time and we moved onto quiet activities like reading, coloring, etc. It eased us into bedtime in a way that felt natural and not like an abrupt end to the day. I've started to do this as an adult and it makes things peaceful.

夜晚的微光、蠟燭，播放一些平和的音樂(lè)。假如你有孩子，這招也很有用——我的媽媽會(huì)通過(guò)調(diào)整氣氛的方式過(guò)度到夜晚。她會(huì)關(guān)掉很多燈光，打開(kāi)洗碗機(jī)，這標(biāo)志著一天到了結(jié)束，播放一些安靜的音樂(lè)，關(guān)掉電視，然后我們?nèi)プ鲆恍┌察o的事情，比如讀書(shū)，繪畫(huà)之類(lèi)的。這會(huì)讓我們更加輕松自然地進(jìn)入睡眠，而不像一天唐突地結(jié)束。成年之后我也開(kāi)始這么做，這讓我的生活變得祥和。

Use the good stuff. Don't buy things you like and then be afraid to use them. Things are meant to be used and to serve you -- use the nice dishes, the nice soaps, the fancy pillows. You're deserving of that!

用好東西。別買(mǎi)了你喜歡的東西之后不敢用。東西就是用來(lái)服務(wù)你的——用好盤(pán)子，好香皂，舒服的枕頭。你值得這些！

Here are some things that are helpful especially if you have kids:

假如你有孩子的話，那么這些建議尤為有用：

5. ROUTINE! Kids seriously thrive with routine -- at the time I wasn't aware but looking back I can see how much the routine made us feel secure growing up. We woke up at the same times, ate at the same times -- I always knew there was going to be dinner at 5:30pm. Even if things got shifted sometimes, the consistency of our normal routine left me secure that I would be provided for. My mom was always there after school and if she wasn't for some reason, there was a note (pre-cell phones) letting us know exactly where she was and when she'd be back. I knew the rules and what to expect if I broke them, too. They were consistent. Not knowing what is going to happen creates a huge amount of anxiety in kids.
This is also important for you as an adult if you're re-parenting yourself. Routines are tough for me as someone with ADHD, but they're also a life saver.

規(guī)律！孩子們真的會(huì)在規(guī)律的生活之下健康成長(zhǎng)——當(dāng)時(shí)我還一點(diǎn)都意識(shí)不到，但現(xiàn)在我能發(fā)現(xiàn)規(guī)律的生活能讓我們?cè)诔砷L(zhǎng)過(guò)程中感到安全。我們每天都在同樣的時(shí)間醒來(lái)，在同樣的時(shí)間進(jìn)食——我永遠(yuǎn)知道下午五點(diǎn)半會(huì)有晚飯吃。盡管有時(shí)會(huì)發(fā)生變化，我們正常生活規(guī)律的自洽性會(huì)讓我感到安全。放學(xué)后我媽媽永遠(yuǎn)會(huì)在校門(mén)口等我，假如她有原因不來(lái)的話，會(huì)有一張字條（那時(shí)還沒(méi)有手機(jī)）告訴我們知道她現(xiàn)在在哪里，會(huì)什么時(shí)候回來(lái)。我知道規(guī)矩，也知道自己壞了規(guī)矩的話會(huì)發(fā)生什么。這些都很自洽。不知道接下來(lái)會(huì)發(fā)生什么會(huì)給孩子們制造非常巨量的焦慮。
假如你是個(gè)成年人，打算重新給自己當(dāng)一次家長(zhǎng)的話，這也很重要。規(guī)律的生活對(duì)于我這種有多動(dòng)癥和注意力障礙的人來(lái)說(shuō)有點(diǎn)困難，但這也是能救命的東西。

6. Sort of built off routines -- my mom had a calendar in our kitchen that had all our appointments and obligations on it. It sort of the command center. We could always check it and see what was going on that day/week/month. It also provided some security. I know things are mostly digital these days so maybe a shared Google calendar would work better. But I always liked the paper calendar hanging up in the kitchen.

一些建立起來(lái)的生活規(guī)律——我媽媽在廚房里放了個(gè)日歷，上面有我們所有的約會(huì)和待辦事項(xiàng)。這就像是控制中心一樣。我們總是能看看上面有什么，這一天、這一星期、這一個(gè)月會(huì)發(fā)生什么事情。這也會(huì)提供一些安全感。我知道現(xiàn)在這種東西基本都數(shù)字化了，所以或許共享的谷歌日歷能更有效。但我一直都喜歡在廚房里掛一個(gè)紙質(zhì)的日歷。

7. Here's a big one: let your kids (and yourself for that matter) have a safe space to express all emotions. One of the biggest things I've noticed among friends who grew up to hate their home life was that they were punished for normal emotions. We were allowed to get mad, sad, whatever. There was a line of respect you didn't cross, but just having emotions in and of themselves wasn't seen as disrespectful or something to be punished. When I was a little twat teenager, my mom and I would fight and I'd storm off to my room and they let me. They'd give me time to cool off and then my dad would come CALMLY talk to me about it. If I had done something that crossed a boundary, like insult them or say something disrespectful, I had to apologize for that but not for experiencing emotions. A child won't grow up to learn emotional regulation if you don't let them experience any emotions.

接下來(lái)這個(gè)很重要：讓你的孩子（以及你自己）擁有一個(gè)可以釋放一切感情的安全的空間。我在那些成長(zhǎng)過(guò)程中痛恨自己家庭生活的朋友們身上注意到的最重要的一件事，就是他們會(huì)因?yàn)楸磉_(dá)普通的感情而受到懲罰。我們都可以生氣，悲傷，等等。有一條互相尊重的線是你不能跨過(guò)的，但擁有感情本身并不是什么值得羞恥或是應(yīng)該被懲罰的事情。當(dāng)我還是一個(gè)小毛孩的時(shí)候，我和媽媽經(jīng)常打架，我會(huì)跺著腳回到自己的房間，他們也允許我這么做。他們會(huì)給我時(shí)間讓我冷靜下來(lái)，然后我爸爸會(huì)平和地和我聊聊。假如我做了一件越界的事，比如侮辱他們或者說(shuō)了不尊敬的話，那么我需要為這句話道歉，但不需要為表達(dá)情緒道歉。假如你不讓孩子體驗(yàn)情緒的話，那么孩子是學(xué)不會(huì)情緒管理的。

8. We had rules about how we could treat each other and one of them was that name calling wasn't allowed in our house. You can get angry with people and call them out on their behavior, but when you cross a line into character accusations, you've entered into a nonproductive, damaging territory. In hindsight, I understand that this is the basic idea of nonviolent communication where you're addressing a person's behavior (which is changeable) and its impact on you, not attacking their fundamental character.

我們?cè)趯?duì)待彼此上有很多規(guī)則，其中一個(gè)就是不許罵人。你可以和人發(fā)脾氣，指出他們不當(dāng)?shù)男袨?，但假如你跨過(guò)紅線去辱罵他們的人格，你就踏入了沒(méi)有建設(shè)性、會(huì)造成傷害的領(lǐng)域。事后來(lái)看，我認(rèn)為這是非暴力溝通的基本觀點(diǎn)，你應(yīng)該指出一個(gè)人的行為（這個(gè)是可以改變的）以及這個(gè)行為對(duì)你造成的影響，而無(wú)需攻擊他們的基本人格。

9. Prioritizing mental wellbeing and rest. My mom was light years ahead on this one. She let us have "mental health days" back before the term "mental health" was even in the general discourse. If we woke up one day and just weren't feeling it, she'd let us take a day off school. I remember telling a teacher that I'd been absent because I needed a mental health day and she had a look of utter disbelief and confusion. I was confused -- like don't you ever just feel mentally tired? I stopped mentioning it because people got downright angry at the idea that someone might need to electively take a day off a few times a year. Thankfully the mindset on this is changing. Everyone gets burnt out sometimes or just can't emotionally or mentally deal with shit -- even kids! Being allowed to take time when I needed it was really validating and helped me learn how to regulate myself and listen to my own internal cues.

將心理健康放在首位，好好休息。我媽媽在這方面比別人領(lǐng)先好幾光年。早在“心理健康”這個(gè)概念成為大眾的談資之前，她就會(huì)讓我們過(guò)“心理健康日”。假如我們有一天早上起來(lái)覺(jué)得沒(méi)勁，她就會(huì)讓我們請(qǐng)一天假。我記得之前跟一個(gè)老師說(shuō)我要請(qǐng)假因?yàn)槲倚枰^(guò)心理健康日的時(shí)候她用那種難以置信和困惑的目光看著我。我也很困惑——難道你就沒(méi)感到精神上疲倦過(guò)嗎？之后我就不再提這件事了，因?yàn)槿藗円宦?tīng)到某人可能需要隨機(jī)挑一天休息這件事就生氣起來(lái)。謝天謝地，最近對(duì)這方面的看法改變了很多。每個(gè)人都會(huì)遇到精疲力竭的時(shí)候，或者情感上、心理上無(wú)法和糟糕的事情打交道的時(shí)候——甚至是孩子！在我需要的時(shí)候可以花點(diǎn)時(shí)間整理好自己真的非常有用，并且這可以幫我學(xué)會(huì)如何管控自己、聆聽(tīng)我內(nèi)心的話語(yǔ)。

10. This one is simple: We got to decorate our rooms. My mom was a great decorator and our house was always very nice looking -- but she let us do what we wanted to our rooms. She understood that having a space that reflects you and what you like makes you feel good.

這個(gè)很簡(jiǎn)單：我們得自己裝飾自己的房間。我的媽媽非常擅長(zhǎng)裝飾，所以我們家的房子總是很好看——但是她會(huì)讓我隨意裝飾自己的房間。她知道擁有一個(gè)能夠反映你是誰(shuí)、你喜歡什么的空間會(huì)讓你感到很開(kāi)心。

11. Food/ the kitchen was never off limits (in general, it was OUR house, not my parents house that I got to live in so the idea of anything being off limits is so strange to me.) I know this might not be easy for people with tight budgets, but if possible, maybe have a food basket or drawer that is designated for anytime snacking so food anxiety isn't an issue.

食物/廚房永遠(yuǎn)不限量（總地來(lái)說(shuō)，這是我們的房子，不是我不得不住在里頭的我父母的房子，所以什么東西要限量的概念對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)很奇怪）。我知道對(duì)于那些手頭緊的家庭來(lái)說(shuō)這種事情或許不太簡(jiǎn)單，但假如可以的話，或許可以弄一個(gè)食物籃子或者抽屜，任何時(shí)候都可以從里面拿東西吃，這樣食物焦慮就不是問(wèn)題了。

12. I always knew my parents were in my corner. I knew I could call them when I needed help even if I'd done something bad. I knew I could trust them to have my best interests in mind, and I knew that when push came to shove, I had them backing me up. I had so many friends who couldn't trust their parents to treat them respectfully or with any sort of grace, and so they became excellent liars. I never lied to my parents because there was no reason to -- not that they let me do everything I wanted, but because I knew they'd be reasonable and fair and hear me out. Knowing you've got support is probably the most fundamental act of stability I can think of.

我永遠(yuǎn)都確定我的家長(zhǎng)和我站在一起。我知道就算我做錯(cuò)了什么事，假如我需要幫助的話我都可以叫他們。我知道我可以相信他們將我的利益放在第一位，并且我也知道當(dāng)事情落到無(wú)可挽回的地步的時(shí)候，我有他們?yōu)槲覔窝Ｎ矣泻芏嗟呐笥阉麄兌紵o(wú)法信任自己的父母用尊重或者體面的方式對(duì)待自己，于是他們成為了卓越的騙子（我破防了）。我從來(lái)都沒(méi)對(duì)我的父母撒過(guò)謊，因?yàn)楦緵](méi)有這個(gè)原因——不是因?yàn)樗麄儜T著我做一切我想要做的事，而是因?yàn)槲抑浪麄儠?huì)講道理，會(huì)公平地聽(tīng)我把道理說(shuō)清楚。知道有人支持你或許是我能想到的最基本的帶來(lái)穩(wěn)定的行為。
原創(chuàng)翻譯：龍騰網(wǎng) http://m.top-shui.cn 轉(zhuǎn)載請(qǐng)注明出處

Isgortio
I had a few girls from school that would follow me home and invite themselves into my house, I was friendly with them so it was alright but I later realised it's because my house didn't have any smoke, alcohol, violence, shouting or screaming children. Some of them were so unfortunate that I ended up just giving them some of my stuff because I didn't want/need it and they did.

我上學(xué)的時(shí)候認(rèn)識(shí)幾個(gè)女孩，她們會(huì)跟我回家，并且會(huì)要求我?guī)齻內(nèi)ノ壹彝?。我?dāng)時(shí)和她們關(guān)系還不錯(cuò)，所以我覺(jué)得沒(méi)問(wèn)題，但過(guò)了一陣子我才發(fā)現(xiàn)，這是因?yàn)槲业募依餂](méi)有任何的煙、酒精、暴力、喊叫或是大聲尖叫的兒童。她們中的有些人是如此不幸，我最終干脆把我的一些東西送給了她們，因?yàn)槲也恍枰蛘卟幌胍?，但是她們需要這些東西。

My parents have their moments and can be very annoying, but there's always been food in the house, electricity, clean running water and a lockable bedroom/bathroom door. My friends that didn't have that really struggled, but I didn't quite see it as a kid/teenager.

我的家長(zhǎng)們也有自己發(fā)脾氣的時(shí)候，并且有時(shí)也很讓人煩惱，但至少我們的家里永遠(yuǎn)都有食物、有電力、有干凈的自來(lái)水和能鎖上門(mén)的臥室/浴室房間。我的那些缺乏這些設(shè)施的朋友們真的度過(guò)了一段很困難的時(shí)光，但在我還是孩子、青少年的時(shí)候我并沒(méi)有意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)。

wweber1
I relate to a lot of what you said. It sounds like you grew up with a lot of stability.

你說(shuō)的很多東西我都能感到共情。聽(tīng)起來(lái)你成長(zhǎng)的環(huán)境非常穩(wěn)定。

I also grew up in a quiet, peaceful home and neighborhood as well.

我也在一個(gè)安靜、和平的家庭和社區(qū)中長(zhǎng)大。

Looking back now, I wonder if I am a calm person because of that since a child's environment has such a huge impact on them.

現(xiàn)在回頭看去，我在想現(xiàn)在的我是一個(gè)冷靜的人是否是因?yàn)檫@個(gè)，因?yàn)楹⒆映砷L(zhǎng)的環(huán)境有如此大的影響。

We live in a very fast-paced and constant-stimulation world.

我們生活在一個(gè)非?？旃?jié)奏、經(jīng)常需要刺激的世界之中。

In my area right now (moved to a bustling city) I see a lot of kids having anxiety and hyperactivity. I wonder if there is a correlation.

在我現(xiàn)在生活的地方（我搬到了一個(gè)繁忙的城市），我看得見(jiàn)很多孩子有焦慮和多動(dòng)的問(wèn)題。我在想這之間是否存在者聯(lián)系。

EmeraldStorm089
Hell, having one.

他媽的，有一個(gè)就不錯(cuò)了。

Pinealdan
Yep I can attest to this. I have one shitty parent and one great parent. I’d probably be on the streets somewhere if I had no guidance from my one good parent.

沒(méi)錯(cuò)我可以作證。我有一個(gè)很爛的家長(zhǎng)和一個(gè)很棒的家長(zhǎng)。假如我連那個(gè)很棒的家長(zhǎng)的指引都得不到的話，那我很可能就要在街上討生活了。

bee-sting
Health

健康

kimkimkimmy
Not being in pain

沒(méi)有痛苦

SomedayMightCome
One of the worst parts of chronic illness is knowing that this is how things are always going to be, that it only gets worse from here.

慢性疾病最糟糕的一點(diǎn)就是你知道這種現(xiàn)狀永遠(yuǎn)會(huì)在你的身上持續(xù)下去，并且只會(huì)比現(xiàn)在變得越來(lái)越糟。

aventador52
Education

教育

Lumpy-Pilot-2324
Which is shocking given that education in the US is often seen as worse than a full-time job. Your busiest and most miserable times are high school and college.

這很令人震驚，因?yàn)樵诿绹?guó)人們經(jīng)常覺(jué)得受教育比全職工作要糟糕得多。你最忙碌、最難過(guò)的人生階段在高中和大學(xué)。

aventador52
Definitely agree. I’ve traveled to 3rd world countries and some kids would do anything to get an opportunity to gain an education and improve their life because usually that’s the only way compared to here where there are other opportunities.

完全贊同。我去過(guò)一些第三世界國(guó)家，那里的一些孩子們?yōu)榱说玫绞芙逃臋C(jī)會(huì)、改善自己的生活愿意做出任何事，因?yàn)橥ǔ?lái)講這是他們唯一的機(jī)會(huì)。

tommytster
Libraries! I think a lot of people who have access to a public library don’t appreciate how much of a privilege that is.

圖書(shū)館！我覺(jué)得有太多有圖書(shū)館可以去的人都意識(shí)不到那是多么優(yōu)越的一件事。

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有什么特權(quán)是絕大多數(shù)人擁有卻意識(shí)不到的？